Alright.
Enough.
As someone who typically tries to present himself as confident and capable on the outside, I’ve battled with some internal struggles for most of my life. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before….
“I worry that the work I produce isn’t ~good enough~ for others.”
Now, reading those words, I want to slap myself silly and give the same advice I’d give anyone else who has ever come to me with that same concern. And you know what? That exact conversation HAS happened dozens, if not hundreds of times. People who I know often share that same fear that they have with me… and all I can think is to tell them how silly they’re acting. Of COURSE they’re good enough. Of course people care about, and believe in, what they say. Of course they are adding value in whatever topic they’re considering discussing. Yet, I occasionally turn around and question myself with those very same thoughts.
First of all, what does “good enough” even mean?! I started this blog back in 2010. Ha! Read that again. Two thousand and ten. We were just kids, then! No, I’m serious… babies. The number one song on the Billboard charts that year… Tik Tok by Ke$ha. (You’re welcome, Birddog)
In 2010, CrossFit wasn’t even a fad yet, and I had already found myself completely consumed in the belief that fitness could make the world a better place. This blog started as my way to try and help as many people as possible. It allowed me to share things I was learning that I felt could make others either better, faster, stronger, healthier… or at the very least leave them a little bit entertained. Fast forward SEVEN years. This hobby that I found, then became a passion, then a part-time job, and then a full-time job. I found exactly what I had wanted to do with my life. I found a way to utilize a skill set I convinced myself I had to HELP others. And in turn, to be honest, help myself.
I share that to give context to the “good enough” idea I have battled with since before I can remember. I wasn’t the best coach. I didn’t know everything about human anatomy and physiology. I couldn’t provide the perfect nutrition plan for someone. But when I was in my element, none of those thoughts even entered my brain. If I had an athlete in front of me, I’d do everything I could to help them to the best of my ability. If someone emailed me about how to recover from not being able to walk down stairs after heavy squat day, I’d give them the best answer I had. If an athlete wasn’t losing those last 3-6lbs of fat they aimed to shed, I’d give them advice based on what I knew. And when I didn’t know an answer… I’d look it up. I’d learn. And then I’d share again.
It was so easy for me to do when I was dealing with ONE person. But when I’d get home and open up the laptop to write a post, the doubt would start to creep in. I’d tell myself reasons why MY opinion probably didn’t matter. Or why I may have been wrong on this one topic. It was so easy for me to NOT EVEN TRY, knowing that there will always be haters out there. The thought of one negative comment squandered my desire to try and help even one person.
Not anymore.
The good news for me, is that I have never claimed to be perfect. In fact, some of the most impactful interactions I’ve had with clients, friends, and strangers through this blog have stemmed from PRODUCTIVE conversations where contrasting opinions met head-to-head.
That’s my super weird way of saying that I’m going to start writing again. I’m going to share my thoughts and opinions on things that go on in the world of fitness (and other places, too). I’m going to get back to sharing videos and stories and books that make me happy. Or make me think. Or make me cringe. I’ll get back to letting you know if I try and like (or hate) a new product. And I’m doing this because as one of my very good friends has told me for over a decade now: “Your network is your net worth.”
It’s connecting with all of you that has always what filled me with the most joy! THAT is why I started this blog in the first place. To connect with my “network” of friends, whether near or far. Whether I coached them that day, or had never even met them in person. The ability to connect with and learn from a worldwide network is what has always motivated and inspired me!
So, how am I going to get over the “is this good enough” concern I’ve always had? I’m simply going to try and silence that voice of doubt. I’m going to try NOT to always be my own worst critic to the point where it stops me from even trying.
What’s one way that a person can get better at a skill or craft? Do it more often, right? Practice. And while I know that practice doesn’t really necessarily make perfect, I do think that writing more frequently will continue to give me more confidence in how I communicate. It will let me feel that there is at least ONE person out there (thanks for reading, Mom!) who might benefit from the information I can provide or share.
So, as I sit in a crossroads in my own personal life, I invite you all to join me on this journey of self-discovery and vulnerability.
It’s about to get real.
You know what? It already feels good to be back!
-Smashby